8:45 p.m. - 2008-05-25
Rockland.
They say, in the back of cars.
Walking along the dark streets,
with the streetlights making halos upon their heads.
Wine still on her lips, not even good wine. Just enough to lower her lids.
I tasted her, I tasted like her. I wanted her. And I want still.
Wine not being good enough, I kiss on the metro.
Holocaust eyes stare back at me, slowly blinking. I smile at her, drunkenly.
You dont get post cards from the holocaust mesuem. Smiles and sunshine, saying "Hello! I've just seen the deaths of tons of Jews, homosexuals, and others, it was such a happy time! You should come! Wish you were here!" No, you just dont.
That revalation never came. The ash thumbed on my forehead. Never happened. I passed out on the grass and my eyes fluttered open. I woke the same.
Howl.
He said.
Howl.
Never knew what that ment.
And then something happened and I lost it all. The girl said hello. Hallow. Hallow. Hall. Ow. What do words even mean? Did Jack do it all while his mind was out of his head? And is that what it is to be enlightened? And is that what is really is to be, alive?
And why the hell is my computer being such a dick? So slow.
My eyes dont seem to keep up with my, movement and my brain.
You do not want my confessions.
Confessions of, the truck stop gas stations I've seen. Of, the small pink tablets I've slipped past my tongue. Metal that has torn open my skin, metal that had seared my flesh. fermented grapes, rice, wheat and whathave you that has passed through my lips, in a means to get me drunk.
Blood that has fallen from me.
Jazzzzzz and moans.
Clouded dreams in bedrooms painted gree. A green so horrid, they didnt even have a name for it.
Not that that matters any more.
